Hooked on the Book

I don’t want to freak anybody out, but it has come to my attention that there is a new epidemic sweeping our society. It affects everyone and has the potential to ruin lives. It distorts and distracts youth, encompasses and engulfs professionals, and conflicts and confuses the elderly. If not acknowledged and treated this addiction can grow to astronomical levels, making rehabilitation futile. 

A dude from Norway

I am of course talking about Facebook, and thanks to some science dudes in Norway we now have a way to identify this condition. If you think you may have a problem, ask yourself these questions and pray to the Internet it’s not to late.

Do you spend time thinking about Facebook when not near your computer or phone?

(Ex- thinking about witty status updates while having sex or playing sports.)

Are you constantly compelled to use Facebook more and more to ensure social media supremacy?

(Ex- posting multiple self shot cell phone pictures throughout the night to prove how many people you can annoy in real life as well as online.)

Do you use Facebook to forget about personal problems?

(Ex- someone hurt your feelings? You can afford to lose a friend, Facebook says I still have like 1,000.)

Are other people telling you to chill when it comes to your Facebook activity?

(Ex- Are you the first to like and comment on the most arbitrary updates, showing people you’re easily amused and therefore not that intelligent.) 

Maybe just one more self portrait...

Do you become restless when not using Facebook?

(Ex- unable to get through your own dinner without obsessing about what your ex- girlfriend’s best friend had for dinner.)

Has using Facebook had a negative impact on your job/school/life?

(Ex- if you’re reading this blog currently unemployed and not in school, you messed up and need to get your priorities straight or just adjust your privacy settings.)

So you be the judge, do you have a problem, or can you quit anytime? That being said, please continue to like us on Facebook, spend all of your valuable time soaking in all our valuable information, topical content and pictures of cute dogs in real world situations.

-Jeremy, Social Media Strategist